Monday, June 6, 2011


I took my mother yesterday to a job interview so we were in the car alone for about 2 hours. It was the weirdest most uncomfortable thing on the planet. There is this huge elephant in the room and she refuses to see it or talk about it.

She would either bring up random things or just not talk and I was just fine with not talking. Right now my life has come crashing down and so all I can think about or talk about is what happened but she refuses to.

I just hope that this doesn't ruin our relationship but I am starting to think that it will because I am just so hurt.

She calls me this morning wanting to know how I am doing. I let her know we are doing okay. She doesn't say anything else and then starts crying and hangs up. I cannot care about her feeling right now. Honestly my whole life I worried about her feelings but no one ever worried about mine. I am done. I sometimes think she cries to manipulate things.

It amazes me that with everything she went thru in her life after finding the gospel she did not make it first priority to make sure her children didn't go thru what she did. To me right now she is an accomplice to this monsters behavior.

My sister calls me later on and tells me that my mom thinks I am depressed. I don't even know what to think right now.

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