I know I need help....and NOW!
Financially we are not in the situation to get it so now I will have to call my bishop and try and get it thru my church. The thing is I have been inactive for some time so I feel like I don't deserve the help from the church.
I need to get over that feeling though cause it is not helping me. If I don't get help right now I will end up being my father.
Ever since this happened I have been on LDS.org nonstop. I am looking for articles to help me. I have looked up articles on abuse but I haven't been able to find any on physically abusing children.
I however have decided for sure that this vicious cycles ends here with me. I have been reading articles about raising your children and every single night and morning I have been praying and asking the Lord to please give me the patience I need to be a good mami to my precious baby because he does not deserve to have to deal with anything like I did. And oh my word can I just tell you that honestly God is great. I have had nothing but patience and trust me Baby has tested me like any 2 year old does.