Tuesday, November 27, 2012

My wish

I honestly wish more than anything right now that we could get pregnant.

So not fair.

I am totally having a 5 year old tamper tantrum about this.

Makes me so angry when I hear girls complain about anything that has to do with pregnancy or new borns.

What I would give at this moment to be able to have nausea or sleepless nights. I have multiple friends who feel the same way but yet I see all over the place woman having children who don't really want to or sit there and complain about everything.

It's really upsetting!

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

God knew we weren't ready to be parents

My husband always says that he believes God knew we weren't ready to be parents when we became pregnant with Bentley and that's why he send such a special little angel into our lives.

To tell you the truth I believe that more and more every day.

This child is something special and I know everyone thinks that about their own kids and isn't that the wonderful part of being a parent that you think your kid is just simply amazing.

It's funny cause we will get asked certain things about parenting and we normally tell people how it was for us but I get the feeling that its not the same for most people. Maybe we are just very relaxed and laid back kinda parents but my child has honestly been amazing from day 1.

From the get go he slept amazingly. We lost sleep but not like everyone talks about it. This boy can sleep, for example no matter what time you get him down he is not happy if he is woken up before 9am. When he was little and I stayed home with him he would sleep all the way to 10 in the morning with no problems and still go down for one or two naps during the day and be asleep by 9pm. I consider ourselves lucky. He was able to latch on pretty easy from day one and breastfeeding was pretty amazing for the both of us. Once he was getting close to a year old I kept on hearing everyone tell me to stop breastfeeding or it would be impossible as he got older. I kept doing it and felt guilty about it, next baby I won't feel guilty. I was super worried though that maybe people were right it would be hard but at 22 months he basically stopped breastfeeding on his own. No pain there and no crying it was a breeze. Then when it came to potty training everyone told me not to expect my child to potty train till after his 3rd birthday. So that's what I was expecting. At 2 1/2 he started getting interested in potty training so I bought some little toilets and put one in each room and let him run around naked all day long. He never had an accident. And within 3 months of doing that during the day and me not asking him to go or anything he had completely potty trained himself to go even at night. I was shocked. I expected it to be much harder.

As of lately, I don't know if it's the age or what but he has been the sweetest boy ever. He listens to me, is behaving like an angel, tells me sweet things that somehow he knew I needed to hear and honestly has made this last few hard months bearable.

I thank my Heavenly Father daily for this sweet spirit that came into our lives during hard times but has made them bearable.

Monday, November 19, 2012

There is still good in the world

Not really having the best days lately but trying as hard as I can to be happy.

In my hopes of having an ok day yesterday I invited my brother to go food shopping with me. At least I would have someone to talk to.

Since times are a little rough right now for us financially, we are on a tight budget which means I only had $50 for groceries this week. That's barely anything considering I have to get pediasure for Bentley and that stuff is expensive to say the least.

To keep Bentley calm while shopping and asking for junk food, which we can't afford, I bought him a happy meal, don't judge. So right the. I was down to $46 for food for the week.

I went about my shopping and figured I would get what was on my list and when I got to the counter I would put the must haves in the front and the other stuff towards the back. I told the cashier I only had $45 so to stop at that. It got $45 and I still had maybe 7 items left so I said sorry and that I couldn't get them. I wasn't sad cause this is something that has been happening a lot lately. I figure they could wait till next week.

I paid and grabbed my bags and left.

As I was walking out the cashier run up to me and handed me a bag. At first I thought I had left a bag since I normally do but no it was the stuff I wasn't able to pay for. She told me the lady behind me had paid for it.

Well that was enough to bring on tears galore. I run up to that wonderful lady who just so happened to look so much like my mother-in-law and gave her a hug and told her how much that meant to me. All she said was "oh honey no problem and Merry Christmas".

My faith in people has been restored there really are nice people out there. Made me feel so loved and grateful.

I will make sure to pass that forward at some point.

Sunday, November 18, 2012

Can't do positivity

Well in hopes of trying to be grateful this month and see all the good around me I was writing this I was grateful for but when everything around you seems to be falling apart I just cannot brig myself to write down everyday what I am grateful for.

I know I have a lot to be grateful for even through hard times but honestly right now I just want to have a self pity party.

Every day is something new. This week I have not had one single day off and have had to cancel plans and put my child in tears as I tell him I have to go to work instead of hang out with him like planned.

I no longer get shocked when I hear bad news. Nothing surprises me. There are days where I feel something or someone has it out for me cause everything that could go wrong in one day will.

The crappy part is that it's not on a get any easier from here on till God knows when.

I wake up every day ready to love life and have my smile on and be happy and it happens but by the end of the day of I don't take an energy drink I am a complete downer.

Thank goodness my husband is has his sense of humor and continues to make me laugh. If it weren't for my sweet child too I don't know what I would do. This boy has been and angel as of lately nothing short of perfection, honestly. He wakes up every morning calling me precious and telling me how sweet I am and how much he loves me. So because of these 2 in my life I continue to wake up and try to see the good in life.

Monday, November 12, 2012


Today I am so grateful for the sweet neighbors we have always been blessed to have no matter where we have lived.

When we were first married we had amazing neighbors that lived right across from us and to this day I am best friends with the wife. She is more like a sister to me than anything else. Love her to pieces.

When we moved up north we had amazing neighbors right next door who came to our rescue whenever their help was needed.

Then in Ogden our neighborhood was filled with amazing people who cared and loved us.

Once we moved to our apartment where we live at right now we met our neighbors 2 floors below us. Its an older couple who fell in love with Bentley from day one and Bentley keeps on making them fall in love every single time they see him.

They have been so good to us. I have been able to go over and cry to her and just have her listen to me. They treat Bentley like a grandson. Are constantly worried about us if they don't see us for a day or so. I can go to their house at any given moment and just sit down and watch TV or just talk to them while Bentley plays with their dog.

It has been a crazy few weeks and I haven't been able to go over and visit for a while. I make sure I send Jon down there once a week to check on them and let them see Bentley but tonight I went over since Jon needed a few hours to himself to study and get a project for school done. They were so sweet and just listen to me and Bentley, played with Bentley and once I said I was leaving they asked me not to and to stay longer.

They sure made me feel good.

Sunday, November 11, 2012

A day of rest

We have decided to start closing our restaurant on Sunday's since its no longer making enough to make it worth being open on a Sunday.

Even though this is a crappy situation for our business, I still am grateful because this means I get to have my husband with me for a whole day which only means, family time!

So grateful we will get to have a day of rest that falls on the same day as my husbands.

Family time means everything to not only me but also to Bentley. He is constantly asking when we are going to have family time or family date night.

Saturday, November 10, 2012


We seem to have the worse luck with car tires.


Just a week ago my husband got a flat on a very expensive tire. I am just hoping and praying that its fixable cause I don't want to have to spend $300 on a tire.

Then today we of course had a warning sign come on that said low tire pressure. What? We just had those tires put in less than a month ago. Argghh!

However I am so highly grateful that even though we have the worse luck with tires as of lately we still have cars that run and can get us from once place to another. In this freezer weather I am also so thankful that the heater works so we don't have to freeze while driving around.

Friday, November 9, 2012

Being a mother

Becoming a mother was a dream come true.

It is a huge blessing to have been able to have a child.

I love nothing more than being a mother to my precious angel who I love beyond words.

It is amazing watching your body change throughout a pregnancy but even more amazing is how your perspective about life changes the second they put that baby in your arms. Your life is no longer as important as it used to be. You do things that you never would have done for this baby. I love this about motherhood it really makes you an unselfish person.

Thursday, November 8, 2012


Today I am grateful for a healthy body that up to this point has been able to find off sicknesses.

It gives me the ability to walk, run, use my hands in artistic way and care for my child the way I want to plus be a homemaker and wife. It also allows me to be able to do things for myself and not have to depend on someone else.

Up to this point (and I say that because things can change at any second) it has been wonderful to be able to use my body to its full potential.

I love how when you start to look at what things you are the most grateful about the simple things in your life are the things that stick out the most.

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Customers I will miss

I have a few regular customer that I just love.

Most of them are older people and the second I see them it just brightens my day. I love happy older people, gives me hope.

This morning while at work customer came in and like always I have a smile on my face and he tells me "you have such a beautiful smile, don't ever give that up" and then he simply drove away. This man probably didn't know how much that meant to me. It totally made my day.

I am grateful for my customers who on a daily basis make my day with the sweet things they tell me.

Tuesday, November 6, 2012


I do not like politics. I feel I am being lied to. And this time every 4 years it turns people I love into people I try to avoid.

Both parties do it. They make fun of the other but this year it has been taken up a notch. It quite frankly makes me sick.

Cannot wait till this is all over and done with.

With that said I am super excited to vote since this is the first year ever I get to vote. Last time I was not a US citizen. So this is a very special election for me.

First let me say I never ask friends or family who they vote for because that means nothing to me. I am your friend no matter what and I have people on both sides that I love dearly. I think everyone really thinks, on both sides, that they are voting for the right person. So for this reason I never bring up politics, I do not like making someone feel any less because of their beliefs.

I grew up very liberal and to be honest I still am very liberal in a lot of my views. However there are 2 very important topics that make me vote republican. One being guns and two being taxes. Let me do a little explaining. I grew up with parents who hated weapons, they were talked about as if they killed people. Guns don't kill people, people kill people. I am an avid gun enthusiast, I love guns. We have multiple in our home that we keep very safe away from our child. I know how to shoot a gun and am not too bad. Whenever I am home alone my gun is loaded a ready to go in my safe. I also own a shot gun, I believe this is something good to own in case you need to feed your family and there is no money. One of the main reasons I keep guns is because there are bad people in this world now days. I want to be protected from them. These people don't go out and get guns legally so if we make guns illegal all that's going to do is stop someone like me from getting a weapon however the criminals and bad guys will still be getting their weapons thru the black market and now I have nothing to defend myself with. That is what I think about guns and why I cannot agree with the Democrats about this. Now onto taxes. Being a small business owner the way Obama wants to tax us will hurt me and any small business owner. Our store makes over $250 thousand a year however my husband and I personally maybe see $30 thousand after everything is paid for if we are lucky. As a small business owner you get taxed on your business earnings as if it were personal income. People talk about how corporations and small businesses get all these tax breaks but that just isn't so.

So here I go to vote for the first time EVER, hoping that Romney will win this election and he can turn this country around.

On that topic today I am truly grateful for the oppertunity I have gotten in this life to become a US citizen and have the right to vote.

Monday, November 5, 2012

New day, new beginning

Can I just say yesterday was bad. It started out good but ended horribly. I said some things to my husband that were horrible and hurt him deeply.

With that said, I am grateful for new days that gives us the chance for a new beginning.

Every morning we can wake up and have a new beginning, how awesome is that?

I am hoping today I don't screw up being a wife or mother.

Sunday, November 4, 2012

My job

Today more than ever I am grateful for the job that I have.

With being a business owner there are some ups to it. I get to work my schedule around what is going on in my life. This makes it so I get to spend some days with my stinky man. This also makes it easy for me to take off any day I need for personal matters.

It has been wonderful to be able to do this.

I also am able to take Bentley in to work with me if for some reason I wasn't able to find a babysitter. There is no job where I would be able to do this.

Lord, all I ask for is peace

For the last 5 years, every October my life goes on repeat or at least it feels that way. It happens from October to January.

Our lives become unstable. It makes me a little bit sad since this is my favorite time of year.

I keep saying there is something I must not be learning and that I need to learn from this trial. Last year I was sure I had learned what I needed to learn and that was to have patience and trust in the Lord and not freak out. I handled last year pretty good for the first time ever. I guess that wasn't the lesson though cause we are back at it this year. Quite frankly maybe I don't want to learn a lesson because at this rate I now know how to handle this trial pretty good without freaking out and loosing it and in life once you learn the lesson you are supposed to, you get a new trial it seems. So I'll keep this trial any day.

However it still is a little big stressful and to be honest this year is probably the most stressful and somehow up to this moment I have managed to feel peace in the middle of chaos. For this I thank the Lord. It is such a wonder thing to feel some peace in your life.

Instead of asking the Lord to do things my way like I normally do I have lately just been asking him to allow me to feel at peace with whatever our situation will be. Prayer is a wonderful thing.

I know as it gets closer to Christmas things will get even more crazy and at just the thought of it has me fearing a breakdown but I'll keep praying and asking my Heavenly Father for peace. That's all I really want in my life, peace.

Saturday, November 3, 2012


Today I am so grateful for the apartment we live in at the moment.

It has been our home for going on 3 years. We love it here. It truly has become our home.

I am so thankful that every night we have somewhere warm to sleep at. Where we can house our few belongings and where Bentley can run around like a crazy man playing.

We still don't know where we will be come December but at the moment we are here and that's all that matters for the times being.

Friday, November 2, 2012


Becoming a mother is one of lives best gifts. Also one of the most challenging things in life however probably the most rewarding.

I never knew I wanted to be a mom as bad as I do. There really is nothing better.

This little boy came into my life and changed it forever.

He is funny, sweet, super smart, a social butterfly (which I absolutely love), handsome and so many other things.

He has taught me so much in live and continues to on a daily basis.

Honestly, I am so grateful to have been given this amazing opportunity of becoming a mother. Best thing to have happened in my life.

Thursday, November 1, 2012

My husband

November is always crazy.

Tons to do. Busy with the store, family activities trying to get our last outdoor outings, seeing friends and to top it off life every November seems to be a little unstable for us.

So in the hopes of seeing some positivity in my life I will post every day what I am grateful for in my life.

So let me get started for day 1.

I am so highly grateful for my wonderful husband. He has been a blessing in my life and more than I could have ever imagined. I would be completely lost without him and my life would be so boring.

He is the funniest guy I know. Can talk to anyone and be friends with anyone. Anyone who meets him likes him right away. He is also the smartest person I know. Oh and of course he is by far the best papa in the world.

I believe he was made just for me. I know that sounds silly but it's true.