Saturday, June 4, 2011

Sad thing

My mother has made it very clear that she is standing by her husband thru this.

It breaks my heart because as her daughter I always hoped that my mother would choose me but she hasn't.

I know for a fact he is abusive to her maybe not physically but emotionally and verbally. I have seen it first hand. He is a controller 100%.

I asked her today why at 12 years old when he punched me for the first time did she not leave? She had family with money who would have helped her out. I told her that if my husband were to ever beat my child I would prefer to leave and prostitute myself in order to support my child then to allow my child to be beat ever again. She doesn't get it.

She basically wants to me to forgive my father, not talk about this to anyone and to go back to normal like nothing ever happened. Even as I am talking to her she tries nonstop to change the subject on me and tells me that she cannot talk about this any more.


Well everything in my family has always been about appearances. What we look like from the outside. Lets just say I am pretty amazing at giving face. I should have been an actress. God forbid I ever tell my extended family anything about what really goes on here. Well....that's a little bit too late. This time around my mouth opened and opened big.

My family in Costa Rica found out this morning about all of this. I have an amazing bunch of crazy supportive family there. I wish I could just fly out there and be hugged by them all.

I am sure they will be calling my mother soon and that my mother will deny things or make it seem like I am making this bigger than it is. I will hear back what my mother says and I pray for her sake that she tells the truth cause if not I might not be able to maintain her in my life.

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