I meant to post this before going on vacation
As you get older you kind of not have a choice but to be nice to your children. Especially if you do not have money saved up for your retirement.
It will get to a point where you will have to depend on your children and so you really do need to have a really good relationship with them. Plus as sad as it made sound they may be the ones pulling the plug so for crying aloud be nice to them.
I have told my mother that my father has ruined a lot. As he gets older and will not be able to work who is he going to depend on financially? Not me or my brother that's for such. He has 2 other choices my sister who I doubt will and my other brother which maybe he will so he might get lucky but at this point I will not be helping him. If I do I will make sure that once death is knocking on his door I remind him of everything he has done so he can be scared crapless to meet his creator. That sounds really mean I know but that's how I feel right now and I tell it how it is. I don't sugar coat things.
I have told my mother that now that we are grown adults she kinda just has to accept us for who we are and what we choose to do with out life. I mean she doesn't have to accept it but then she can't be apart of my life. If she wants to be apart of it just accept me for who I am and that's that.