update

HAPPY THANKSGIVING! We got to go to my cousins house for dinner and it was yummy. She had 2 turkeys one was baked and the other was fried. Plus there were tons of side dishes. I think I might have some left overs in a little bit they were so yummy. I am so thankful to my cousin and for how sweet and giving she is. I love living near her. I tell my husband all the time that I don't think I can leave Ogden just because she lives nearby.

I wasn't able to post the other day but tonight I got baby down already and hubby is cleaning the kitchen. What a great guy I have.

I have a few updates so here it goes:

-I took my US citizenship test and passed it, YAY! I posted about this on facebook and people were confused, some thought I was born here, others thought I already was one and then others thought that I married my husband for a green card. Hahaha! First of I was not born here I was born in Costa Rica. Second of all I did NOT marry my husband for a green card. When I married my husband I had been a permanent resident for about 10 years, so I was legal, people. My dad and my siblings are all US citizens so I was the only one left with my mom (my mom failed the test since her english is not good). I had been putting it off for years and I don't really know why, I'm just weird like that how many people would die to be able to become a US citizen but finally my green card was expiring so I figured it was time. I still am not a US citizen but I will be as of January 6th, 2010 and I am super excited about being able to get a US passport. Also exciting is that when you apply for citizenship you can change your name to anything you want and I chose to finally change my last name to my husbands last name legally. A lot of people think I am a Doulas legally already but I am not I just go by it and sign things as Doulas but legally I still have my maiden name.

-Our heater broke about a week ago and this totally blows since we do not have the money to get it fixed. Thank goodness for space heaters which have been keeping us nice and cozy. I try to not be at home during the day since everywhere else other than our bedroom is freezing. Since it is freezing everywhere else the house is a mess because I do not feel like cleaning or doing anything inside the house. Oh and to top it off we call our property manager and when he checked it out he tells us it was our fault for not changing the filter which we didn't even know it existed. I don't understand why it is that if you are renting a house why do they not tell you where everything is at when you move in. We had changed a filter and thought that was the one but I guess it wasn't. That's why we have to pay to get it fixed. It really sucks not having money to pay for simple things and then to have this happen, ahhhh!

-I have been a little depressed because it seems my husband works all the time and we just cannot get out of this hole we are in. Me working is out of the question since by the time we are done paying a babysitter and gas there is no money left from me working. A lot of changes will be happening in the next few months for us as we try to down size. We really have been living for a while like we had tons of money when we really didn't. My husband has really tried to spoil my in so many ways and now we can no longer do this. It's sad to have to give up the nice things but that's life and we have to do what we have to do to be able to survive.

update on the quick

I know, I know, I said I would be doing the grateful thing every day but I am a little depressed and I just have not been able to see the good in things going on. AHHH!!! Life is just so crazy and scary. I don't have time right now to update on everything but I will hopefully feel better by the end of today and update on what has been going on.

Day 11...

I am grateful for our good neighbors. Out of everywhere that I have lived this is the only place where we have had such nice neighbors. They are friendly, nice, helpful, giving and many more things. Specially our neighbor James he is just awesome. Whenever I have gotten locked out of the house he has helped or if we need to borrow anything for our lawn he lends it to us. When we first moved in there was a neighbor who went around the whole block cleaning the snow off the sidewalks and driveways. I mean I really have never seen this anywhere else. Whenever we move out of this neighborhood I will really miss my neighbors.

Last night out heater broke and so it is freezing inside the house. This morning as I was getting ready to take baby over to my cousins to give him a bath in a warm house my neighbor was out and I waved hello and he asked if he could come over and see the baby which of course I said yes to. I told him not to mind how baby looked that I was taking him to go get a bath and so then I told him how I heater was broken. He asked to see what was going on with it and I am sure that if he could have fixed it he would have he got all dirty trying to see what the problem might be. How awesome is that. Oh and he wife is pretty awesome too, the day we brought baby home for the first time within like 30 minutes she was over with a cake, which was so delicious. Ok one more example, my next door neighbors have fruit trees. One day I had run out of pears and baby was on this pear thing where he only wanted to eat pears so I send Silvia over to go buy some from them and they just gave us some pears for free.

I really do live in a pretty sweet neighborhood and I have some pretty awesome neighbors.

Day 10...

Today I am grateful for our cousin Huong. She is married to my husbands cousin, did you get that? They happen to live in Philadelphia and its a funny story about how I met them, actually I will tell you at the end of this post. Anyways she called me the other day and asked me if I was going back home for Thanksgiving and I told her no cause the tickets were too much and right now we don't have that kind of money to spend. So then she tell me that she has a voucher for southwest airlines that will be expiring in December and no one in her family can use it, so she said that if I found a flight that I could use it. Well I got super excited because I really was planning of going to Philly with baby in November but with the money situation it didn't happen and I was super bummed so when she told me that I got on the internet right away and found a ticket. I only paid about $70 for the whole thing, isn't that amazing? She totally has made me the happiest right now. I just thought that was so sweet of her to think of me and offer me that.

Ok now the story of how I met her and her husband. Well my husband and I met online, I think everyone already knows that and so I feel pretty comfortable saying it, when we first got married we told different stories, hahaha. Jon and I had been talking online for about a month and then we started talking on the phone for about another month before he told his cousin about me. The only thing was that he told his cousin that he had met me thru a friend on one of my trips to Utah and then he told him that I was from Philly. Jon told his cousin how much he liked me and blah blah blah. Since they live in Philly they asked for my number and Jon gave it to them and then calls me and tells me that his cousins want to take me out to dinner to meet me. Mind you his cousin thinks that Jon and I had already met so this was really weird for me but hey I went along for the ride. We made plans and met up at a sushi restaurant near Villanova University. This was the most awkward meal ever!!. They kept on asking question of how Jon and I met and I was totally trying to dodge their questions. Now looking back I am sure they thought I was weird. Anyways the mean ended and I went home and right away Jon called them to find out what they thought and if they thought I was cute, hahaha, he was making sure that I was not some ugly fat chick. So then I move to Utah a month later and we end up getting married that summer and the whole time his cousin is thinking that the story he knows is the real one until a few months later when he had to tell them the truth. They just died laughing. I think the whole family thinks its pretty funny that I met his cousins before I met Jon. Maybe one of these days I will tell you about our sure courtship and engagement cause that's always a good story.

day 9...What am I grateful for...

I am grateful for my brothers. I have 2 brothers, they are Will and Aaron.

There is my brother Will, right now he is serving a mission and he is just the biggest example to me. He has such a strong testimony of the gospel, I told him the other day that I only wish I could have a testimony half as strong as he does. He has really been tested while on his mission, its one thing after another and he still believes in the church and is going strong and is determined to finish his mission. I would be home by now no doubt about it. Before he left for his mission other than my husband he was my best friend, I could always tell him anything and he would listen and never judge me. He knows all my deepest secrets which are not that deep but still.



Then there is my brother Aaron is hilarious he always knows what to say to make me laugh. I always say he is cheap but in reality any time I have needed his help financially he has always been there. I loved having him stay with us for 3 months during the summer. He was so sweet with baby. Also right now he is going thru some difficult time, he was recently diagnosed with myotonic dystrophy which to my understanding is a slow progressing, inherited disease, it is characterized by wasting of the muscles. Sad I know but my brother is such a trooper he really is not letting this get in the way. He still has plans to go on a mission and have a family and do the normal things everyone else does, let me tell you he is the most active person I know. He runs miles and miles a day. He is really determined to fight this. I look up to him so much, I do not think I would be dealing with it as well as he is.



Anyways I really was blessed with some amazing brothers.

Day 8...I forgot to do this yesterday

Oppps! I was just running around all day yesterday and totally forgot to update my blog with what I am thankful. First let me tell you what I have been up to. On Tuesday morning I woke up and my boob was really full which is not uncommon if baby doesn't eat as much before I put him down and then the other feeding that happens at some point during the night. So I got up and went on about my day, after putting baby down for his nap I went down stairs to fold the laundry and as time past by I started to feel worse and worse. My whole body started to hurt and I had chills plus my head was hurting. Immediately I thought that I was coming down with a cold so I started to take some things for it. I came upstairs and took a shower thinking that might make me feel better but no it just got worse and to top it off my boob was hurting so bad. I called Jon and told him to come home early cause I didn't want to be around baby and get him sick so he did and I just slept almost all day. By night time I was feeling horrible so I ended up taking some heavy pain killers which worked wonders I was able to sleep like a baby. Before going to bed my SIL called and I told her my symptoms and she told me that it sounded like it was either a cold or mastitis which sometimes have some of the same symptoms. She told me to wait till the next day to see if it got worse or what. I wake up yesterday and I was feeling totally fine no more symptoms other than my boob hurting. WEIRD!! So now I am thinking maybe its just a clogged duct. Who knows but today I am feeling back to normal. I guess if anything my immune system is in pretty good shape from taking all that vitamin c and other natural stuff.

Ok so its now time for what I am grateful for...yesterday I was grateful for my husband having the day off from work. He was able to help me out with baby while I got some much needed rest since I wasn't feeling all the day back to normal. I think I really do have the best husband in the world. On his only day off from work and what does he do, watch the baby for me to sleep. Yeah I am one lucky girl.

Day 7...I am grateful for...

I am grateful for my cousin Lisseth. She has been there for me since moving to the Ogden, Utah area. She is one of the most giving person I have ever met. For example, this just happened today, I had told her how Baby was in need of some more warm clothes and that I was waiting for Jon to get paid for me to go get some, well today she showed up to my house with 4 new outfits for baby. They were super cute. Also after giving birth she came to my house every single day and would bring me food, help me with baby and with cleaning. Oh and anytime I need a babysitter she let's me know that she will watch him for as long as I want. She is truly amazing. She is the only person I feel safe leaving baby with for hours. I really am lucky to have her as my cousin. I love you Lisseth.

What am I grateful for...day 6

I am grateful for my sister. Right now she happens to live with us and she is really helpful. I really do not know what I would do without her some days. She is also a sweet, loving person. Oh and can I tell you how hilarious she is, I think the funny part is that she doesn't really know how funny she is. Just today she had Jon, baby and I laughing hysterically, she was pretending to be a cat and it was the funniest thing in the world. Ok here is one funny thing she has said to me within the last few months, I had told her that one night after I put Bentley down we could go to the basement and watch a girl movie together. So that day comes around and at 8pm she was all ready for the movie and so I told her that baby wasn't feeling all that well and so we could all go up to my bed and watch the movie on my bed and so she goes "ughhh...I thought babies were supposed to be more fun and this is not fun at all" ummmm...I could not stop laughing. I told her to please not have children for at least 10 more years.

What am I grateful for...day 5

I am grateful for my wonderful parents who are just amazing. I really do have the best parents EVER! They have been a great example throughout my life. They both have such a strong testimony of the church and their testimony really carried me thru my teens even all the way till I was able to have my own testimony. I have really learned so much from them. I think the one thing that I have really learned from them and that I want to be more like is that my parents truly love each other. They have been married for over 26 years and they are still affectioned towards each other. If you ever see them out walking they will either be holding hands or my dad will have his arm around my mom. When my husband first met my parents that was the first thing he noticed and even told me that he hoped that we could be like them. Not only are they amazing examples to me but they are my best friends. My mom, I talk to her at least twice a day. My dad, whenever I am having a melt down I always call him and he knows exactly what to say to make me feel better. I am one lucky girl.

What am I grateful for...day 4

I am so grateful for having this cute girl as my friend, her name is Jen. We became friends when we both lived in Provo and we lived right across from each other at the condos. She is just so stikin cute and just the sweetest person you will ever meet. I consider myself lucky to have her be part of my life. I really do feel like she is my sister, I just love her so much. I am not as great of a friend as I should be since we live about and hour and 15 minutes away now. However any time I get to hang out with she makes me feel so good and like I can tell her anything and be myself and she still loves me.



Ok let me tell you about this picture, I was trying to find one with just her in it but I don't have any like that. This picture was taken last year in August. I went down to San Diego with my husband and at the time she was living in Los Angeles, so we made plans for me to go stay with her for a few days while her husband was on a trip. While there I kept on telling her that I was super thirsty all the time and had to pee a lot and I'm sure there were some other signs and she tells you "Laura you're pregnant". Jon and I were not trying to get pregnant so I told her no thats not it but she happened to have a pregnancy test at her house so she left it out and the next morning I took the pregnancy test and low and behold, it was like 6am and I woke her up to tell me what it meant, I knew what it meant but I needed someone else to tell me because I could not believe it. So she was the first person to find out I was pregnant and boy was she just so happy for me. Well anyways this picture was taking during that trip the day before I found out I was pregnant.

What am I grateful for...day 3

I am grateful for having the gospel in my life, without it my life would be a mess. I really am grateful for knowing how much my Heavenly Father loves me and how forgiving he is. There truly is no better feeling than knowing you are a daughter of God.

What am I grateful for...day 2

I am so very grateful to my Heavenly Father for giving me this great opportunity of becoming a mother and entrusting the life of such a sweet spirit in my hands. I know that I will forever try my hardest to be the best mother I can be to him. I have never been as happy than after baby came into my life. He has made my life just that much better. I am so crazy about this little man, I think other people might think I am crazy when seeing I how am with him but I don't care. I never knew I could be this loving, this patient and so nurturing. Just look at this monkey he is just the most perfect baby.

What am I grateful for...day 1

Every day this month until Thanksgiving, I will think of one thing that you are thankful for and write about it on here.

I am grateful for my wonderful husband. He has really been the biggest blessing in my life. He has taught me so much about life and about myself in the 3 years we have been together. I am able to truly be myself with him and know that he will still love me. I mean he knows that I am crazy and he still loves me, let me tell you that takes a lot cause I really am a hard person to like let alone love. He knows me better than anyone else in this world and he makes me feel like the most beautiful woman on the planet which in return makes me feel like the luckiest girl in the world. My life would totally suck without him in it.

Our choices can effect others

Its funny how so many people always say that their choices do not effect anyone else but yourself but in the end they really do effect so many people.

My husband yesterday said to me something really sad, he said "I hate my life" and it really made me upset because no matter what happens in life I do not hate my life. This morning however he told me that he doesn't hate his life but that he hates the situation that his parents, my parents and we find ourselves in right now. So I said to him that yeah its really sad but that they and we are in these situations because of choices we have made along the way.

This is our story...almost 2 years ago my husband made a choice to start a business with his sister. In part I think he really thought that this business was going to be really successful but also in part he felt bad for his sister and the situation that she found herself in after spending tons of money on equipment for a store and he knew that if he did not help her out that there would be a ton of money that his parents and sister would lose. So we went ahead with the plan, him and his sister opened up a pizza restaurant, it went really well for almost a year we were even able to open up one more store. Lately, however, they have been doing not too hot and it worries me so much. When they first opened the store they thought that they would be making a crap load of money which never sounded right to me but hey who am I to crash someone's dream but I always thought that no business is going to be making that much money from the get go. Now that its not doing as good as expected its kind of sad because we have basically put all of our eggs into one basket. I know that my husband is super stressed, I am super stressed and I probably don't help the situation cause I nag too much. Now his parents are in a horrible situation and need to move in with us. I have already lived with them for 6 months and it was not pretty to say the least. I don't know how they don't hate me right now or maybe they do, who knows. It's really hard when you grew up one way with my mom cleaning every day and everything being super organize and even though I am not the cleanest person alive or the most organized I do try and when there is something out of place it bugs me, then its hard to live with people who are opposite than you.

You know what bugs me about this whole situation is that we have been here before almost a year ago his parents were in the same situation and it was horrible. Things were said and then the extended family got involved and things were said to my husband that were hurtful and no one defended my husband. I think that hurt me more than anything else, especially now that I am a mother, my child comes before my siblings no doubt about it. Ever since then its like they all think my husband is out to hurt his parents or something crazy like that. I really don't know what is told to them because if they really saw what he did on a daily basis they would know who the one without a heart really is. It makes me really sad. Just thinking about that and what it was like a year ago and then knowing that its happening again it just makes me want to have a nervous break down. I will have to be doing a lot of praying I know that for sure.

You know the person who said that their decisions don't effect anyone has really effected the life of my in-laws in a horrible horrible way and hence the fact they are in the situation they are. Also because of that choice that one person made my husband and I also find ourselves in a hard place while that person is off being fine, life will be fine for them but for us we don't know. We are struggling and this sucks. I get so angry sometimes. Right before I go to bed I start thinking about things and I get so angry I start shaking and just wanting to hit something. I wish I would have said somethings at times. I wish things were different. I wish my husband was still in school he would be one month away from graduating. I wish a lot of things. I guess wishing doesn't help the situation. Thank goodness I have the baby to keep me occupied cause I would really drive myself crazy.

I hope this time around with having his parents live with us that things will be different. That the extended family will not be told everything and that my husband does not get nasty emails because this time around I WILL NOT stand for it even if it causes issues. I will make sure that they have a reason to never ever want to talk to me.

THINGS I LEARNED FROM ALL OF THIS:

-listen to the prophet and don't get into debt
-have a savings for a rainy day because they do come and happen even to rich people
-NEVER by any means start a business with a family member (worst mistake a human being can make)
-don't ever let anyone help you out financially even if it means you cannot have the nice clothes or cars, it will come back and bite you
-be careful on your decisions they do effect just more than just yourself
-always have a plan B in case plan A tanks
-have faith in God that's all you really can do

ADD

So yesterday I posted about how I think I have ADD and I said that was another story, well lets talk about that today.

I really think I might have ADD. I never before thought that I had it but lately my mind is always all over the place. My husband just laughs at me with the things I say. For example, we were talking about how we need to be saving money and then out of nowhere in my head I started thinking about how I should paint this dinning room table and chairs black and reupholster the seat with some white and black fabrics, so I tell my husband this and he just started to laugh, he said where did that come from. That's one example but there are many more. My sister even noticed it the other day when out of nowhere I started talking about other things than what we were talking about. I will be trying to fall asleep but my mind is all over the place with things I should have done and things I wanna do and all sort of different things.

Maybe this is why I can no longer watch a movie all the way thru and why I hate going to the movie theater. I will start a movie but always something in the movie will remind me of something and then my mind will go off to lalaland. Do you think its a mom thing? Cause I have only noticed that since having baby.

The email I received today

My younger brother is serving a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and today I received an email that really got me thinking. I had told him about how I was feeling towards one person in particular and I was sure he was totally going to say that I had a right to feel that way so I was taken aback when he said this "love those that despitefully use you, as you forgive others God forgives us. I think it says that in the scriptures or you could just call me crazy either one works for me :)." I think that I got this email at the perfect time.

A quick thought, it seems that since my brother started his mission he says a lot of things to me right when I need to hear them.

I might have ADD my mind cannot keep one single train of thought it is always all over the place but that's a story for another day.

Anyways back to my story, what he said really got me thinking today because I know that I need God's forgiveness because I am not perfect I am trying to be but truth be told I am falling really short. I was certain and I had even told my husband that I was no longer going to try and be nice to this person because every time I am I seem to get hurt. No lie about an hour after I said that to my husband I got the email and to tell you the truth I do need to forgive this person because just like I am not perfect neither are they and maybe they are really trying to be perfect like I am and just falling short. Later on in the email he told me something like people who offend us or hurt us maybe do not have the spirit of God and to just pray for that person.

I really need to start doing this. I have really been thinking lately that I need to just live my life and not worry what others say or think and just be happy. I have plenty of reasons to be happy, I have my amazingly wonderful husband who I am crazy about and who is crazy about me, I have my beautiful healthy baby boy what more does a person need to be happy. So from today on I will try to be a more forgiving person and be happy.

Lazy people

What is up with people being so lazy now days? Now I am sure if you talk to my mother she will tell you I was the laziest person in the world, which maybe at one point it was true. However since I turned 16 I have always had a job. There was a point where I held down 2 jobs at once. I would be at my one job from 6-3 then my next one would start from 4-11. That was my schedule mostly every day give or take a few hours. I did that for about a year but my jobs have always been working at least 30 hours a week and I think I am a good worker. I now have not been working for a year and 5 months but for very good reasons. I was pregnant and now I have a house and a baby to take care of. That's more than plenty work for me.

Now in the last few months I have seen some really lazy people who either barely work and moan and groan when they do work or who work minimal and expect to get paid the big bucks. Do people really think their time is worth that much?

I think that anyone who has a job at this moment needs to be grateful that they have a job no matter what it is. How many people would love to be able to just have a paying job at this moment all over this country. Some people are so ungrateful. And then the people who think they are worth more then they are need to look at themselves and realize that were it for not other people picking up their slack they would be no where in this world.