Postpartum

With Baby's birthday I have been thinking a lot about my pregnancy, birth and afterwards and so I am remembering my postpartum depression.

Its not really talked about or at least I had never heard anyone talk about it. For as often as it happens it really is not talked about enough. My doctor never even mentioned it.

I used to think that it happened only to people with bipolar disorder or depression, yeah I was way wrong. It really can happen to anyone. Even if you have a perfect pregnancy that has nothing to do with whether or not you get it.

While pregnant I didn't even read about it since I thought it would not happen to me so while it was happening to me I didn't even recognize it. I just thought it was normal to feel that way after having a child.

It really is the worst feeling in the world and I feel for mothers who have it. No one can really understand until you go through it. Which in any case no one can understand anything until they go through it.

Now looking back those were some dark times. I don't think I went through it until about 5 months after Baby was born. I remember there were days I got out of bed just to bathe Baby and feed him. If I took a shower I would get right back into my pajamas and I would go out an average of 2 days a week the rest of the time I stayed home and in bed. At one point I almost pulled a Britney by shaving my hair off. Is that weird or what? but I really had to talk myself out of doing that. Since I barely left our room I barely ate and that's when I dropped a crazy amount of weight to the point that I had everyone worried about me.

As Baby got older and the weather changed I got back to normal and thank goodness. I have heard of people experiencing it for years after they have their children.

I guess for the next Baby I will be prepared for it and hopefully we are still living near my mom so she can help me through it all.