My childhood friend

Do you ever wish you were still friends with your best friend from your childhood? I do ALL the time.

My best friend was Nicole Lombardi and we were inseparable. We did everything together, we dressed alike and even looked a lot alike. Most people who saw us together thought we were sisters. She was 2 years younger than me but we just had so much in common. I met her when I was 12 and we moved in to her neighborhood. We lived maybe 3 houses down, so we were always at each others place. I would eat dinner over at her house at least 3 times a week and whenever she came to my house it was like she was part of the family she would always go into the kitchen and get herself a bowl of rice and put hot sauce on it and eat it just like that. I have so many good memories like when she came with me to youth conference to Palmyra to watch the pageant and her going to youth dances with me.

When she started high school her parents started to go thru a divorce and I honestly did not understand it. Many times she told me just that, that I was so lucky to have both my parents living together and being happy and that I really did not understand what it was like to have parents who are divorce. Many times I tried to tell her that I did understand it but now looking back I really did not and I still do not understand it. I think around this time was when we stopped hanging out as much and then eventually just stopped all completely. I now wish that I could have been a better friend to her, I was a horrible friend to her when she needed me the most. It so breaks my heart to know that maybe because of my actions I now do not have her in my life. Gosh had I known that back then she would still be in my life.

I miss her so much and I will forever have her in my thoughts, she was an amazing friend to me. About 3 years after we stopped talking for her birthday since I always remembered when it was, March 24th, I send her a birthday card and told her how much I missed her friendship. A week later she send me a letter with her phone number on it saying to call her which I did and we hang out but I think by then we were both in totally different places in our lives. It has now been well over 6 years since I have seen her or talked to her. I have looked her up of myspace and facebook and I just cannot find her. Her mother moved away from the neighborhood about 5 years ago so there is no way for me to find out where she is or how to get in contact with her. Every time I go back home to visit I catch myself looking to see if I see her at a mall or anywhere.

I wish I could have a friend like that now days but maybe that is not possible or maybe I am just not a good enough friend for that to happen. Ever since moving to Utah I have just put all my time and energy into my marriage and now my baby that I really have not made any friends out here and it is so sad because I sometimes just need someone to talk to who will be on my side no matter what. I need a friend to vent to. I have my mami who I tell everything to, well just about everything but its not the same as a friend. I also have my sister and a cousin who I am close to but sometimes you just need someone who is not family to hang out with. Maybe some day I will find a good friend but till then I guess I can just write everything I think on here or just keep things to myself.