Sad realization

Only 3 weeks left until we move away from Utah.

And it is finally hitting me and not in a good way. I am pretty sure from now on till who knows when, I might just be crying daily.

I am sure I'll survive cause that's what I always do but this move will be THE hardest move of my life and that's saying a lot since my move to the States from Costa Rica was pretty traumatizing. This one for sure will be super hard.

The thing I am most sad about is the fact that Bentley won't grow up with his Tita around the corner and him not getting to continue on having a close relationship with his Tio's and Tia.

I am really close to my brothers. I see them at least 3 times a week and I love them so much. They are pretty special human beings, I got lucky in that department.

My brothers due to their illness come across as weird because of how they talk or their mannerisms so people judge them and therefore they don't really have a social life other than hanging out with me or Jon. In 3 weeks that will not be a possibility which breaks my heart into a million pieces.

I hate this part of moving, so not fun.

Last time I left my family and moved across country is was hard but I was young and naive and didn't think things through all the way. Now I am once again having to leave them and this time I know the reality of what this means. I'll probably only get to see them a few times a year, no more calling my brothers to come to my rescue, no more gym or workout partners, no more breakfast togethers, no more taking Bentley to the park, no more going for a ride in my brothers sick car, no more having my mom come and help me clean, no more a lot of things that I have taken for granted. This truly sucks. I now know that most likely we won't ever come back to Utah to live unless a miracle happens. I married a California boy and I am pretty sure that's where he wants to live. Who am I to tell him no? I am not a dream killer and like I always say as long as I am taken care of I will follow him wherever that's what a wife does.

This will be a totally new chapter in our life and I am so nervous. We will be having to live on much less than we were here in Utah. We are going through every bill we pay and seeing how we can cut things out completely or at the very least pay less for things. No more clothes shopping or going out or driving around. Money will be super tight. These last few months have been a little taste of that but not to the extreme of what it will be.

These next few weeks I have a lot of things that need to get done. A lot of packing will be going on plus some deep cleaning. I also have to go through Bentley's clothes and see what things I need to give away. It's so hard packing our clothes though because the weather the next few weeks will be bipolar some days super cold some day warm. I packed all of our winter jackets so the last few days we have been freezing with the temperature having gone as low as 30 degrees.

Well here I go off to do some cleaning and packing!