Everyone around me has either just had a baby, is pregnant or trying to get pregnant. I guess that's what you get for living in Utah. We get asked constantly when we are having another one which bugs me a whole lot.
When my husband and I got married we were practicing LDS so I figured we would have at least 3-4 children as that's what's the norm in the religion. I mean after all you are suppose to multiply and replenish the earth. We waited longer than normal to get pregnant and it took a whole lot to convince my husband and even when it happened I didn't have him convince it just happened, you know. I am so glad it did cause my life has been forever changed for the better.
However now that my son is getting older and understanding more he will say he wants a sibling, sometimes. I know that physically I am ready for another one and somedays mentally I too however I know that financially that would be the most irresponsible thing we could do as our business is not doing so hot and we are in the process of working on our plan B.
Even if we were financially stable though I am starting to get the feeling that my husband might actually not want to have any more. Anytime I bring it up and ask when we might be able to try again I get the feeling I am told whatever just to hush me up and that's it. He has told me before that he would be perfectly fine with just our Mookie.
Ever since I married him I have wanted more than one child. I don't want a big family cause I don't think I could handle that mentally but maybe 2 or 3. Now the older we get and the more we talk about it, it just seems like it might just not happen. What I am to do? Absolutely nothing.....like I said to him yesterday, I guess it is whatever he wants since he will be the main provider and I need him on board in order to make one, you know.
I wish I could just feel contend with just one child. Maybe once I get out of Utah I won't feel such a great need for more. I sure am glad though that I have and continue to spoil this child more now than ever. If he is my only one I can at least say I did my very best. I will just have to up my craziness with Mookie and make everyday that more special since who knows I might not get to experience this age with any other child.
1 comment:
First of all, I hate when people feel the need to comment on the number of kids you have. It is such a personal thing. The other day one of the women at Isaac's daycare told me that he was getting so big, so "it was time to have another one."
I know what you mean though. I don't know how we could ever afford the childcare for an infant, but I don't know if we could afford for one of us to stay home either. When you are close to your siblings like you and I are, you want your child to have the same special relationship.
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