Sunday, December 19, 2010

My life is on repeat

I swear it really least the last 3 years have been.

This post is not to get sympathy from anyone, its more for myself, maybe I can make some changes in my life so this doesn't keep on happening.

From February to September every goes amazing every year. We are financial ok and by ok I mean we live like the rest of America pay check to pay check but are at least able to get a check every 2 weeks and save a little bit of money. I feel physically good and just everything to me feels like its going as planned. (which might be the problem)

Then from October to January everything goes to crap. I might be a little bit over dramatic but this is how it feels. The stores that my husband owns start to do horrible and since we live off of them then we financial start to hurt. I start to feel depressed and everything bugs me, I am short tempered and I start to loose weight.

You know I would be able to deal with this if it was the first year that it was happening but every year! Come on! I need a break, really I do. I just want one year to go good and I don't expect to have tons of money but just enough to pay the bills. I know that in the end we always some how make it thru these months but still the stress of it all gets to me.

This makes me so sad because this is my favorite time of year. It really is. Especially now that I have baby. Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas just make me so happy when I think about them but then when they are here I get really emotional because things are not going like I wanted them to.

I think next year I just need to not expect things to be so perfect and that might help around this time of year. I also think I will start working at my husband stores and make some money so I can save up to have the things I want around this time of year. when I go back and read this I sound really materialistic but I really am not. I promise! I am pretty low maintenance. I think more than anything the money is needed for the things I want for Baby. I want him to be able to have what I didn't.

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