Monday, February 1, 2010

Confessions

After giving birth to baby I was able to lose the baby weight really quick. I have people asking me how I did it and I never really told anyone the truth because I didn't really want to see what was going on. 

But here is my confession, I lost the weight so fast by not eating and by not eating I don't mean I ate just not a lot, NO, I mean I really did not eat. In looking back if I had 1000 calories in one day that was way too much. Wow that's really sad just seeing that written out.

This past week I have been really depressed. At the beginning of the week I looked at myself in the mirror before taking a shower and wow...it was really sad what I saw. I am just a bag of bones. I cried while taking a shower because I never really wanted to look like that and I don't know why I let myself get to this point. 

I know that maybe some people are going to read this post and say "whatever be happy that you are skinny" but let me tell you its one thing to be skinny and its one thing to be where I am. I used to have a ghetto booty and at this point I no longer have any muscle and therefore my butt is none existing.

I now need to work toward getting healthier. Today I started my routine, I will be going to the gym 3 times a week to do weight lifting and then every night I will do some exercises to help my butt. 

I am hoping that by April I can at least have enough of a butt that my pants don't fall off. I will update every so often as to how its going.

2 comments:

Paola said...

It takes a lot of courage to open up and tell the world something like that! I think you are a very brave person and that you are already on your way to being healthier already. The hardest part is coming to terms with your issues. I'm behind you 100% and will be cheering you on all the way! Good luck! I hope the absolute best for you!

Amanda Fawn said...

Dont be too hard on yourself sweetheart. You are beautiful and sometimes we all loose track of ourselves because we get so wrapped up in responsibilities. You'll get where you need to be because you are a very smart woman. You are a mommy (and a wonderful one at that), you are not thinking of yourself as much as you need to be!!. I love you and think you are beautiful on the inside and out. And I hope you get that ghetto booty back in shape mama!