What am I grateful for...day 6

I am grateful for my sister. Right now she happens to live with us and she is really helpful. I really do not know what I would do without her some days. She is also a sweet, loving person. Oh and can I tell you how hilarious she is, I think the funny part is that she doesn't really know how funny she is. Just today she had Jon, baby and I laughing hysterically, she was pretending to be a cat and it was the funniest thing in the world. Ok here is one funny thing she has said to me within the last few months, I had told her that one night after I put Bentley down we could go to the basement and watch a girl movie together. So that day comes around and at 8pm she was all ready for the movie and so I told her that baby wasn't feeling all that well and so we could all go up to my bed and watch the movie on my bed and so she goes "ughhh...I thought babies were supposed to be more fun and this is not fun at all" ummmm...I could not stop laughing. I told her to please not have children for at least 10 more years.

What am I grateful for...day 5

I am grateful for my wonderful parents who are just amazing. I really do have the best parents EVER! They have been a great example throughout my life. They both have such a strong testimony of the church and their testimony really carried me thru my teens even all the way till I was able to have my own testimony. I have really learned so much from them. I think the one thing that I have really learned from them and that I want to be more like is that my parents truly love each other. They have been married for over 26 years and they are still affectioned towards each other. If you ever see them out walking they will either be holding hands or my dad will have his arm around my mom. When my husband first met my parents that was the first thing he noticed and even told me that he hoped that we could be like them. Not only are they amazing examples to me but they are my best friends. My mom, I talk to her at least twice a day. My dad, whenever I am having a melt down I always call him and he knows exactly what to say to make me feel better. I am one lucky girl.

What am I grateful for...day 4

I am so grateful for having this cute girl as my friend, her name is Jen. We became friends when we both lived in Provo and we lived right across from each other at the condos. She is just so stikin cute and just the sweetest person you will ever meet. I consider myself lucky to have her be part of my life. I really do feel like she is my sister, I just love her so much. I am not as great of a friend as I should be since we live about and hour and 15 minutes away now. However any time I get to hang out with she makes me feel so good and like I can tell her anything and be myself and she still loves me.



Ok let me tell you about this picture, I was trying to find one with just her in it but I don't have any like that. This picture was taken last year in August. I went down to San Diego with my husband and at the time she was living in Los Angeles, so we made plans for me to go stay with her for a few days while her husband was on a trip. While there I kept on telling her that I was super thirsty all the time and had to pee a lot and I'm sure there were some other signs and she tells you "Laura you're pregnant". Jon and I were not trying to get pregnant so I told her no thats not it but she happened to have a pregnancy test at her house so she left it out and the next morning I took the pregnancy test and low and behold, it was like 6am and I woke her up to tell me what it meant, I knew what it meant but I needed someone else to tell me because I could not believe it. So she was the first person to find out I was pregnant and boy was she just so happy for me. Well anyways this picture was taking during that trip the day before I found out I was pregnant.

What am I grateful for...day 3

I am grateful for having the gospel in my life, without it my life would be a mess. I really am grateful for knowing how much my Heavenly Father loves me and how forgiving he is. There truly is no better feeling than knowing you are a daughter of God.

What am I grateful for...day 2

I am so very grateful to my Heavenly Father for giving me this great opportunity of becoming a mother and entrusting the life of such a sweet spirit in my hands. I know that I will forever try my hardest to be the best mother I can be to him. I have never been as happy than after baby came into my life. He has made my life just that much better. I am so crazy about this little man, I think other people might think I am crazy when seeing I how am with him but I don't care. I never knew I could be this loving, this patient and so nurturing. Just look at this monkey he is just the most perfect baby.

What am I grateful for...day 1

Every day this month until Thanksgiving, I will think of one thing that you are thankful for and write about it on here.

I am grateful for my wonderful husband. He has really been the biggest blessing in my life. He has taught me so much about life and about myself in the 3 years we have been together. I am able to truly be myself with him and know that he will still love me. I mean he knows that I am crazy and he still loves me, let me tell you that takes a lot cause I really am a hard person to like let alone love. He knows me better than anyone else in this world and he makes me feel like the most beautiful woman on the planet which in return makes me feel like the luckiest girl in the world. My life would totally suck without him in it.

Our choices can effect others

Its funny how so many people always say that their choices do not effect anyone else but yourself but in the end they really do effect so many people.

My husband yesterday said to me something really sad, he said "I hate my life" and it really made me upset because no matter what happens in life I do not hate my life. This morning however he told me that he doesn't hate his life but that he hates the situation that his parents, my parents and we find ourselves in right now. So I said to him that yeah its really sad but that they and we are in these situations because of choices we have made along the way.

This is our story...almost 2 years ago my husband made a choice to start a business with his sister. In part I think he really thought that this business was going to be really successful but also in part he felt bad for his sister and the situation that she found herself in after spending tons of money on equipment for a store and he knew that if he did not help her out that there would be a ton of money that his parents and sister would lose. So we went ahead with the plan, him and his sister opened up a pizza restaurant, it went really well for almost a year we were even able to open up one more store. Lately, however, they have been doing not too hot and it worries me so much. When they first opened the store they thought that they would be making a crap load of money which never sounded right to me but hey who am I to crash someone's dream but I always thought that no business is going to be making that much money from the get go. Now that its not doing as good as expected its kind of sad because we have basically put all of our eggs into one basket. I know that my husband is super stressed, I am super stressed and I probably don't help the situation cause I nag too much. Now his parents are in a horrible situation and need to move in with us. I have already lived with them for 6 months and it was not pretty to say the least. I don't know how they don't hate me right now or maybe they do, who knows. It's really hard when you grew up one way with my mom cleaning every day and everything being super organize and even though I am not the cleanest person alive or the most organized I do try and when there is something out of place it bugs me, then its hard to live with people who are opposite than you.

You know what bugs me about this whole situation is that we have been here before almost a year ago his parents were in the same situation and it was horrible. Things were said and then the extended family got involved and things were said to my husband that were hurtful and no one defended my husband. I think that hurt me more than anything else, especially now that I am a mother, my child comes before my siblings no doubt about it. Ever since then its like they all think my husband is out to hurt his parents or something crazy like that. I really don't know what is told to them because if they really saw what he did on a daily basis they would know who the one without a heart really is. It makes me really sad. Just thinking about that and what it was like a year ago and then knowing that its happening again it just makes me want to have a nervous break down. I will have to be doing a lot of praying I know that for sure.

You know the person who said that their decisions don't effect anyone has really effected the life of my in-laws in a horrible horrible way and hence the fact they are in the situation they are. Also because of that choice that one person made my husband and I also find ourselves in a hard place while that person is off being fine, life will be fine for them but for us we don't know. We are struggling and this sucks. I get so angry sometimes. Right before I go to bed I start thinking about things and I get so angry I start shaking and just wanting to hit something. I wish I would have said somethings at times. I wish things were different. I wish my husband was still in school he would be one month away from graduating. I wish a lot of things. I guess wishing doesn't help the situation. Thank goodness I have the baby to keep me occupied cause I would really drive myself crazy.

I hope this time around with having his parents live with us that things will be different. That the extended family will not be told everything and that my husband does not get nasty emails because this time around I WILL NOT stand for it even if it causes issues. I will make sure that they have a reason to never ever want to talk to me.

THINGS I LEARNED FROM ALL OF THIS:

-listen to the prophet and don't get into debt
-have a savings for a rainy day because they do come and happen even to rich people
-NEVER by any means start a business with a family member (worst mistake a human being can make)
-don't ever let anyone help you out financially even if it means you cannot have the nice clothes or cars, it will come back and bite you
-be careful on your decisions they do effect just more than just yourself
-always have a plan B in case plan A tanks
-have faith in God that's all you really can do

ADD

So yesterday I posted about how I think I have ADD and I said that was another story, well lets talk about that today.

I really think I might have ADD. I never before thought that I had it but lately my mind is always all over the place. My husband just laughs at me with the things I say. For example, we were talking about how we need to be saving money and then out of nowhere in my head I started thinking about how I should paint this dinning room table and chairs black and reupholster the seat with some white and black fabrics, so I tell my husband this and he just started to laugh, he said where did that come from. That's one example but there are many more. My sister even noticed it the other day when out of nowhere I started talking about other things than what we were talking about. I will be trying to fall asleep but my mind is all over the place with things I should have done and things I wanna do and all sort of different things.

Maybe this is why I can no longer watch a movie all the way thru and why I hate going to the movie theater. I will start a movie but always something in the movie will remind me of something and then my mind will go off to lalaland. Do you think its a mom thing? Cause I have only noticed that since having baby.

The email I received today

My younger brother is serving a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and today I received an email that really got me thinking. I had told him about how I was feeling towards one person in particular and I was sure he was totally going to say that I had a right to feel that way so I was taken aback when he said this "love those that despitefully use you, as you forgive others God forgives us. I think it says that in the scriptures or you could just call me crazy either one works for me :)." I think that I got this email at the perfect time.

A quick thought, it seems that since my brother started his mission he says a lot of things to me right when I need to hear them.

I might have ADD my mind cannot keep one single train of thought it is always all over the place but that's a story for another day.

Anyways back to my story, what he said really got me thinking today because I know that I need God's forgiveness because I am not perfect I am trying to be but truth be told I am falling really short. I was certain and I had even told my husband that I was no longer going to try and be nice to this person because every time I am I seem to get hurt. No lie about an hour after I said that to my husband I got the email and to tell you the truth I do need to forgive this person because just like I am not perfect neither are they and maybe they are really trying to be perfect like I am and just falling short. Later on in the email he told me something like people who offend us or hurt us maybe do not have the spirit of God and to just pray for that person.

I really need to start doing this. I have really been thinking lately that I need to just live my life and not worry what others say or think and just be happy. I have plenty of reasons to be happy, I have my amazingly wonderful husband who I am crazy about and who is crazy about me, I have my beautiful healthy baby boy what more does a person need to be happy. So from today on I will try to be a more forgiving person and be happy.

Lazy people

What is up with people being so lazy now days? Now I am sure if you talk to my mother she will tell you I was the laziest person in the world, which maybe at one point it was true. However since I turned 16 I have always had a job. There was a point where I held down 2 jobs at once. I would be at my one job from 6-3 then my next one would start from 4-11. That was my schedule mostly every day give or take a few hours. I did that for about a year but my jobs have always been working at least 30 hours a week and I think I am a good worker. I now have not been working for a year and 5 months but for very good reasons. I was pregnant and now I have a house and a baby to take care of. That's more than plenty work for me.

Now in the last few months I have seen some really lazy people who either barely work and moan and groan when they do work or who work minimal and expect to get paid the big bucks. Do people really think their time is worth that much?

I think that anyone who has a job at this moment needs to be grateful that they have a job no matter what it is. How many people would love to be able to just have a paying job at this moment all over this country. Some people are so ungrateful. And then the people who think they are worth more then they are need to look at themselves and realize that were it for not other people picking up their slack they would be no where in this world.