My childhood friend

Do you ever wish you were still friends with your best friend from your childhood? I do ALL the time.

My best friend was Nicole Lombardi and we were inseparable. We did everything together, we dressed alike and even looked a lot alike. Most people who saw us together thought we were sisters. She was 2 years younger than me but we just had so much in common. I met her when I was 12 and we moved in to her neighborhood. We lived maybe 3 houses down, so we were always at each others place. I would eat dinner over at her house at least 3 times a week and whenever she came to my house it was like she was part of the family she would always go into the kitchen and get herself a bowl of rice and put hot sauce on it and eat it just like that. I have so many good memories like when she came with me to youth conference to Palmyra to watch the pageant and her going to youth dances with me.

When she started high school her parents started to go thru a divorce and I honestly did not understand it. Many times she told me just that, that I was so lucky to have both my parents living together and being happy and that I really did not understand what it was like to have parents who are divorce. Many times I tried to tell her that I did understand it but now looking back I really did not and I still do not understand it. I think around this time was when we stopped hanging out as much and then eventually just stopped all completely. I now wish that I could have been a better friend to her, I was a horrible friend to her when she needed me the most. It so breaks my heart to know that maybe because of my actions I now do not have her in my life. Gosh had I known that back then she would still be in my life.

I miss her so much and I will forever have her in my thoughts, she was an amazing friend to me. About 3 years after we stopped talking for her birthday since I always remembered when it was, March 24th, I send her a birthday card and told her how much I missed her friendship. A week later she send me a letter with her phone number on it saying to call her which I did and we hang out but I think by then we were both in totally different places in our lives. It has now been well over 6 years since I have seen her or talked to her. I have looked her up of myspace and facebook and I just cannot find her. Her mother moved away from the neighborhood about 5 years ago so there is no way for me to find out where she is or how to get in contact with her. Every time I go back home to visit I catch myself looking to see if I see her at a mall or anywhere.

I wish I could have a friend like that now days but maybe that is not possible or maybe I am just not a good enough friend for that to happen. Ever since moving to Utah I have just put all my time and energy into my marriage and now my baby that I really have not made any friends out here and it is so sad because I sometimes just need someone to talk to who will be on my side no matter what. I need a friend to vent to. I have my mami who I tell everything to, well just about everything but its not the same as a friend. I also have my sister and a cousin who I am close to but sometimes you just need someone who is not family to hang out with. Maybe some day I will find a good friend but till then I guess I can just write everything I think on here or just keep things to myself.

I cannot have another child

There is no way that I can have another child for at least 5 years. This week I am watching my niece while my SIL is on her honeymoon and so this has really made me realize more than ever that I cannot function with 2 children at home. I do not know how any mom does it. My house would never be cleaned, I would never shower and the children would love a hot mess. I am not even lying I am just saying how it would really be. Since having baby Jon has said that he wants to wait 2 years to have another one and I though I might be ok with that but after just a few days of 2 children in the house I have now come to the conclusion that there is no way on earth I am having another one until baby is in first grade, not kindergarden but first grade he needs to be out of the house all day for it to work.

Most of my reasoning about this is purely selfish, so here they are. I love getting my nap time during the day. I normally take a nap with baby during one of his afternoon naps and I love it, it totally helps me function. Also I need to be able to wake up late I am not a morning person and so if I am up any time before 7am I will for sure have a bad day. It seems like with 2 children in the house I lose my patience quickly. Right now that is one thing I love about the kind of mother that I am with baby, I have so much patience with him, I have yet not lost it with him but with my niece here it seems like I need to use the TV a lot. Just so you can know my niece is an angel she listens to me for the most part and helps me out but for the few moments she cries and yells and doesn't want to listen I just tell myself that another child for me would not be something wise.

My new favorite quote

"My goal is to live my life in such a way that when I die, someone can say, she cared." by: Mary Kay Ash.

The theme for the wedding

I love the color scheme that my sister-in-law chose, it is so her. Girly, pretty but not too loud. I loved her bouquet!



This is my favorite part of the dress, the back.



And look at how cute her hair accessories are, by the way she totally did her hair all by herself.

The wedding happened

My sister-in-law got married!! Yay!! We could not be happier for her. She just looked stunning, such a beautiful bride. The temple ceremony was beautiful and I tell you they choose some pretty awesome people to be sealers because he was the sweetest nicest old man. I am so happy for her. Just look at how beautiful she looks.



This is the bride with her brothers.



Doesn't she just look so happy? This is my favorite picture of her that I took.



This is my new brother-in-law, he has now joined the crazies, hahaha.



From left to right, my sister, my cousin and I at the reception.



The love of my life and I.



The aunts



Well the wedding was beautiful and so was the reception but thank goodness its over. That day was just so long, I can only imagine how the bride and groom felt. My poor baby was exhausted by the time we got home and to tell you the truth so was I.

The bride and groom are now on their honeymoon and I am watching my niece so I will have to post some pictures up from our fun times.

A wedding...

We are all getting ready for a wedding this weekend. My sister-in-law might be getting married, yeah you hear that right, SHE MIGHT. Everything is ready for the wedding so lets hope that it really does happen. Today my MIL flew in from Virginia and tomorrow the rest of the family is flying in from Virginia and California. This should be fun since most of them are staying at our house, thank goodness we have tons of room at this house.

I have so much to get done tomorrow to be ready for the wedding day on friday. To top it off my SIL is getting her taking out her endowments tomorrow so that right there takes a few hours out of my day and then I have to leave my house around 5 to be able to make it to her shower that is at 7 since its pretty far. AHHH! I don't know what I will do. I still do not have an outfit for my baby to wear and I really don't know where I will find time but somehow I need to find time since he needs to wear something.

My hand at photography

I have always loved taking pictures but now I am trying to get better at it and I actually try to make pictures look a little more professional.

Today I went out to the train station and had a blast taking pictures of my beautiful sister and cousin and also of my handsome baby boy. I am actually posting 2 pictures of my handsome baby, on this blog I try not to do that but just this once I will.

Let me know what you guys think of the pictures and if you like them.

Trip to Idaho

About a week ago we went to Idaho for a food show that's done thru the company my husband buy the food for the business. Anyways they pay for our gas a hotel room so we figured why not go and enjoy some free time off. Jon, Silvia (my sister), baby and I headed up there on a Tuesday morning. So this next pictures are just us on the way up there.

Can you tell I love to take pictures?

I actually thought that Idaho was really pretty, I had heard from some people that is was really ugly but they were all wrong.

We ended up having a blast and the hotel was actually a really nice hotel. It was in downtown Boise which is really nice I thought prettier than Salt Lake City. The ride was kinda rough of baby but other than that we had a blast.

Anger management

I think I might need some anger management classes! Lately I have been getting really angry at stupid people. For example last night I was so angry that I wanted to punch something or someone and since my husband and the baby are out of the question and my walls I think are made out of paper I just had to keep my anger inside and so I ended up with a huge headache and not being able to fall asleep.

I used to have anger issues really bad back in my wild days but since moving to Utah and especially since getting married I have really worked on my anger issues. My husband has only seen me flip once since we have met and I think that was enough to scare him to never ever want to get me mad. For a long time I thought that I was good but boy was I wrong I guess they never really go away and they seem to surface once in a while but boy is it bad when they do. Maybe I need professional help but then again who doesn't.

Blah...

Do you ever have one of those days where nothing seems to go right and you just don't feel like yourself? Well for me today is that day. Lately they haven't happened too much, while I was pregnant it happened just about every day but since having the baby I have been a pretty positive person but for whatever reason today is not a good day. I got ready this morning and nothing looked good on me, my face didn't look right, my hair looked a hot mess. It all started when I went to go put on clothes I swear nothing fits me, it is so depressing. I knew I had lost a lot of weight but dang I didn't want to lose this much weight. I am at the point though that it makes me sad and just the thought of trying to gain a little bit of weight brings on so much anxiety that I just don't eat. Its so weird but anyways today is just one of those days where nothing goes right. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.

Dear Butt,

yes you heard right. 

Where have you gone? I truly do miss you. Can you please come back soon? You were so good to me for 24 years, can I get another 24, please!

So here is the story, I used to actually have a butt which was my favorite body part and that no longer exist. I had what I thought was a pretty good butt all the way till I became pregnant. Then my butt got a little bit bigger which didn't bother me. Then I gave birth came home from the hospital and OMGoshhhhh! What happened? I was told by many that it would come back after a few months but its not back and I am super sad.

So how did I realize it was gone, other than the fact that I looked in the mirror and saw it for myself. First my dear hubby has mentioned it in the nicest way possible. Second my really expensive jeans that are my size right now no longer fit me around the butt. And third today my sister mentioned to me how my jeans didn't fit me anymore and I said why do you say that and she tells me that they are kinda baggy around my butt. Can you believe that? Now I am super sad and I want it back.

I want another wedding

When I was looking at wedding dresses for my wedding I said to myself that I didn't want to wear one of those puffy dresses that make you look like a princess. What was I thinking? That is the only day you can pull crap like that. Now I am regretting it! Ok I do love my wedding dress, go here if you wanna see what it looks like, but it is beautiful but now when I look but for some weird reason I think to myself why did I not want the big puffy princess one. Look how cute they are.

The sad thing is that even if one day Jon and I renew our vows I can never wear the puffy dress that I so much love now cause how retarded will that look. An older woman wearing some big puffy princess dress. 

In looking back at my wedding there are so many things I now am like oh we should have done that or this or taking a picture with that person or been more relaxed or in my case gotten a one size bigger dress. Funny story to go with that last thing, I almost past out cause I gained weight after I bought my dress and so I was able to wear my dress only for the ceremony and about 15 minutes of the dinner before getting dizzy and nauseous from the dress being so tight. Does that happen to anyone else or just me? That you now think of all the things you should have done. 

My love/hate relationship

Jon and I love animals and when we first got married since he didn't want to have children for a while I figured that we could just get animals. What was I thinking? You know what that was my problem I wasn't thinking about the long run and the fact that cats last forever. When we got married I came into the relationship with a dog. Then about a year after we got married I told him I wanted a savannah cat which is a cross between a wild cat and a domestic cat. Yeah I am crazy. My sweet husband never likes to say no to me but he told me it would not be a good idea to bring a savannah cat to a condo since there would not be enough room for him to run around. So he told me we could get a cat and I started to look at white cats but they hubby didn't really want to have to pay for one. One day out of the blue I hear a cat crying outside our balcony and I looked out to find a white cat. So long story short we couldn't find the owners and so we kept it. We loved this cat, he was crazy but fun. Little story about him, he would bounce off the walls and learned how to turned off lights (I'm not exsaturating). Anyways back to my story about a year after we got that cat we happen to come across another cat and he was super cute but I was firm that I did not want another animal by this time I was back to my senses. The hubby begged and begged to keep him, yeah like a little kid, and I gave in. He was pretty cute. 

Then I get pregnant...I don't know how everyone else was when they were pregnant but I will say it...I was a b***h. No lie ask my husband he will let you know. That might be why he doesn't want more children. Anyways I started to hate the cats even though they never did anything to me it got so bad that by the time I was 7 months pregnant I couldn't even look at them cause they made me nauseous. I didn't even feel bad about. Then I had the baby and for about 4 months I didn't want them near my baby. I was honestly so close to giving them away. Listen to this I even let them out and they are indoor cats but I let them out hoping someone would take them in but every night they would come back and cry for me to let them back in. Well about a month ago I started letting them come up more and don't you know it but baby is just like his daddy, he just loves those cats. He touches them and laughs and if he is crying all I have to do is bring the cats in the room and he stops. I guess I am back to loving the cats. 

Let me tell you though they are pretty cute and they do make me laugh all the time. Specially when my white cat b***h slaps my chihuahua who thinks she is all mighty, we just die laughing watching that. Anyways I was doing laundry the other day, I put some clothes in the washer and turned around for a second to get more clothes to put in and this is what I found.

He was just chilling in there like nothing ever happened. They are just too funny. 

Happy Birthday Lisseth!

Today was my cousins birthday and so I decided that I was going to make a cake for her. It was a chocolate cake and I used this recipe with a buttercream filling. For the frosting I had ran out of butter so I had to use shortening which I don't like but oh well. I think it still turned out pretty good. Plus doesn't it look super cute? I was going to use fondant to cover the whole cake but I was kinda scared maybe next time.